Disturbed II/III

II This horribleness in my throat, a bird suffocating in my chest: Maybe My friends You didn’t betray me, like I was told you did.



Pride in my work, in myself, is never something I've experienced on a regular basis. Pride wins awards, pride deserves a standing ovation and not much I've done deserves such praise. Never changed lives, never made the world a better place. (Or maybe I'm just too hard on myself.) Tired of not feeling pride, tired... Continue Reading →

Choose Life

Trigger warning: Extensive discussion of suicidal thoughts Fighting depression and chronic illness takes strength, and my friends try to tell me this every day. I have nodded and smiled and thanked them for their kind words, but it never seemed to stick, but the truth is every day you fight an illness like depression, or anxiety, or chronic illnesses or chronic pain, is a day that you are strong.

One Day

Trigger warning: The following post contains mild references to mental illness and anorexia.  I like to imagine us, Friend, One Day not too far in the future. We can borrow sleeping bags from my high school friends, mattresses from my sister, blankets from my mom's closet. Tumblers filled with steaming hot chocolate (almond milk and... Continue Reading →


tired soul, recover quick. recovery takes too long, only three weeks before back at it again and no rest for the weary, or so they tell me. work work work and body failing until then study study study. pet wet dog noses and we're tired, need sleep and nap. it's been too long since i've... Continue Reading →

I guess

I guess I'm a bit confused. I don't read people like I read words, like I read the books that are crammed on my shelf (and sometimes I worry I'll run out of room). Candles and fairy lights, books, papers, shelved dreams. Colours of silver and purple, like my hair now and my hair one... Continue Reading →


Sometimes You are too tired And in too much pain To do everything that you would Ordinarily Do On a days you consider yourself well.

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