Pixie

I've been called many things...   weak. stupid. fragile. pathetic. overemotional.     I've been all of those things. I don't argue when people give me those labels.   But I'm learning to accept new names. New labels. To embrace more words that capture my being.   Badass pixie. Butterfly. Wonder Woman. Strong. Capable. Enough.... Continue Reading →

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String Lights

Trigger warning: This post contains an extensive discussion of anorexia and death. 

When I’m Alone

Trigger Warning: Moderate Discussion of Sexual Abuse I know a lot about being scared. I spent most (or all) of my life living in some form of fear - fear of making people unhappy, fear of doing something wrong, fear of people deciding they didn't love me anymore. Fear that I was going to mess up so badly that no one would want me anymore.

Fight the storm.

Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal ideation. Life’s hard. It’s true. But when life throws storms at us, we have two decisions we can make. We can either bend with the storm and let it wash us away. Or we can plant our feet and hold our ground.

Despair

Trigger warning: This post contains an extensive discussion of rape and an extensive discussion of despair/depression. 

December’s Howling

Snow freezes your blood into blue and red ribbons inside your skin, chapped lips that ache against the wind. Ice is smooth and slick and deathly black, do not slumber. There is no mercy in curved tarmac. The cold makes us all weary because we do not understand who the cold is. We think of... Continue Reading →

Sit in the sun.

Trigger warning: mentions of depression   Self-care: a poem.   Sit in the sun. Let the warm rays of yellow thaw out your cold bones and melt your frozen heart. Let the light seep into your darkened mind. Let it show you how bright the world can be. Watch as it pierces the shadows. Watch... Continue Reading →

A List

When you are sick, it is hard to be thankful, like forgiving broken bones. But here is a snapshot of what I am thankful for:

“You’ve Changed.”

Trigger Warning: brief mentions of self harm. "You've changed." God, I hope so. I have not gone through hell and high water to be the same girl I was when I was ten, twelve, fifteen, eighteen. I have not survived through the hellish misery that was my teenage years in order to be the same girl I looked like before. I have not torn the sky in two with my screams in order to be the same girl I once was.

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