Trigger Warning: Moderate Discussion of Sexual Abuse I know a lot about being scared. I spent most (or all) of my life living in some form of fear - fear of making people unhappy, fear of doing something wrong, fear of people deciding they didn't love me anymore. Fear that I was going to mess up so badly that no one would want me anymore.
Trigger Warning: brief mentions of self harm. "You've changed." God, I hope so. I have not gone through hell and high water to be the same girl I was when I was ten, twelve, fifteen, eighteen. I have not survived through the hellish misery that was my teenage years in order to be the same girl I looked like before. I have not torn the sky in two with my screams in order to be the same girl I once was.
In America, July Fourth celebrates the day that us misbehaving Colonists decided we'd had enough of being bossed around and unfairly represented, and we were going to be our own bosses now thankyouverymuch.
Dear Future Husband, I am writing now, as young as I am, to forewarn you of many things. The first of many things that I wish to warn you of, is my ever wandering mind. There are days that I am content to sit on the... Continue Reading →
Trigger Warning: Extensive Discussion of Sexual Abuse Dresses. Loose pants. T-shirts. Nothing sheer, clingy, revealing. Nothing that admitted the ugly truth - that I was in possession of a human body.
Strong child, bright, you were too much. Your strength frightened them so they told you to be weak. Weakness uncontrolled was more destructive than strength not understood.
I have a number of friends who are atheists. Please let me start by saying I am not judging, blaming, or otherwise being nasty to you. If I hadn't run into the arms of a God who refused to let me go no matter how much I screamed and protested that it wasn't fair and that I wanted to quit living; if I hadn't been shown a better understanding of how life works; if I was anything different than who I am, I would be in the same place you are.