I live in a dead woman’s house

I live in a dead woman's house. The pictures on the wall are of her with red lipstick and her dog stares up at me with his big brown doggy eyes and bad doggy breath. Her art is scattered across the dusty counters. I change her bird's water and vacuum her floors, fill her fridge... Continue Reading →

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Remember this

Trigger warning: the following post contains brief mentions of eating disorders.  Remember this, the night when you laughed and snuck up behind someone to choke them out because they're your friend. Remember the sweat and the ache in the back of your throat as you dove in for another round. Remember taking the wrong turn... Continue Reading →

Hello, I’m Agnostic.

Today I told my father I am an agnostic. To that, he said that technically, by the definition of agnosticism, I've been an agnostic for a long time.  He's right in that department, of course.  I questioned my faith for so long before stepping outside it and accepting this label. Agnostic. It still feels strange. ... Continue Reading →

You Left.

Trigger warning: This post contains an extensive discussion of cheating and divorce as well as several instances of strong language. I remember a time when I stood up for you, mother dear.  You had worked long hours on a concrete floor, and your fibromyalgia had flared up so badly you had collapsed into bed.  I... Continue Reading →

To My Sons

Boys - I see you See your hands over hers, push the swing higher and higher She trusts you not to let her fall. I am proud of you. Boys - I see you See your hunger as you crowd around my table after basketball with your father, spaghetti and garlic bread heaped onto plates... Continue Reading →

Dear Grandmother

Let me begin by saying, Grandmother, that if you're reading this, I'm sorry.  I asked you to unfollow this blog.  I asked you to step back.  If you're reading this, it's your own fault.  I warned you. But then, maybe you need to read this.  Maybe you need to hear what I have to say. ... Continue Reading →

i don’t know

someone help me please someone help me because i can’t think straight anymore pieces of my soul break away break apart pain clouds my mind and i don’t know what’s real and what’s a lie someone help me because the things i used to be sure of i’m not what surety can there be when... Continue Reading →

Reintroduction

Hello, friend.  It's been a long time, hasn't it? I can't offer many good excuses for my disappearance.  The best I can come up with is simply that I ran out of things to say.  My life was pretty smooth around the time I left, and that doesn't make for good material for a blog... Continue Reading →

Caterpillar, Cocooned

Dear small child I once was, Here are things I wish I could have told you and I didn't know how to say. I didn't know I would need to say. Here are things that maybe someone outside of us should have said and didn't. Here are things that I know now, and you are only just learning, small child. 

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