Remember this

Trigger warning: the following post contains brief mentions of eating disorders.  Remember this, the night when you laughed and snuck up behind someone to choke them out because they're your friend. Remember the sweat and the ache in the back of your throat as you dove in for another round. Remember taking the wrong turn... Continue Reading →

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Nerd Girl

Trigger warning: The following post contains brief references to anorexia, low self-esteem and bullying.  Nerd Girl, they call me. Wobbly knees, scraped palms, paper cuts. Ink and glue and dusty paper. Pretentious, they say. No one cares, they say. Say it to my face. Whispers wrapped in delicate lace. Frills tighten around my neck. Blue... Continue Reading →

Fire Inside Me.

Trigger warning: Extensive discussion of anxiety and panic attacks.    It burns deeps within me, a fire smouldering in my gut. It eats at my mind, at my patience, feeding on my worries, embers turning to bonfires. It grows up inside me, overwhelming, overtaking. This burning, unsettling, sickening fire in my stomach. Anxiety. The molehills... Continue Reading →

Freedom

You are too kind to the monsters, self, too kind to their sins. They have teeth to eat you up; you feed them tea and crumpets. Do not go with them.

Puppy Love

This week I wanted to take a different angle than I normally do, talking through struggles and such. This week I wanted to talk about my dog (pictured above), and not just any dog, my emotional support animal, or at least she will be once she is trained. Right now she is just a puppy,... Continue Reading →

Fight the storm.

Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal ideation. Life’s hard. It’s true. But when life throws storms at us, we have two decisions we can make. We can either bend with the storm and let it wash us away. Or we can plant our feet and hold our ground.

Bathtub

Warm water, lapping porcelain. Smooth skin, hot. No soap, just salt, water. Sweat in hair, old nail polish. Dip toes in water, sink to stomach. Wet fingers, dry pages, old story. Wrap arms around legs, lean wobbling chest against thighs, breathe. Stomach rolls. Close eyes, listen to breath fill lungs. Safe. Body and mind, connected... Continue Reading →

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