when the pain won’t go away

Dear You, dear me, dear anyone else who needs to hear this message.

I know what it’s like. I know what pain is. I know what it is to feel completely empty. Emotions overwhelm and the tears flow at the wrong times. But the ironic thing? You don’t know why it still hurts. I don’t know why it still hurts. It’s been eight months. Eight long, weary, beautiful, painful months. Months filled with stress and unending fatigue and also month filled with lovely experiences and a peace that passes all understanding. I was told to move on. I was told to forget what happened, as if it was an easy thing to accomplish. Sometimes it seems as if everyone else has truly forgotten. Because, after all, ignoring a situation is the easiest way to make it go away. Sometimes I find myself choking on the emotion when it threatens to surface. Sometimes I cry when I shouldn’t have a reason.

But I do have a reason. And so do you.

All I can say is this: I’m only human. You’re only human. Things hurt. People hurt. And time does heal, but not quickly enough to overtake the hurt. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not know why you’re crying, only that you’re overwhelmed and the hurt just won’t go away.

Every tear that falls, every sharp inhale and shattered exhale… Those are signs. Signs from yourself to remind yourself that you are wholly and inherently alive. And that, my dear, is all you need to hold onto right now. You are alive. You are here for a reason and you have a purpose, whatever the pain may tell you.

So, let the tears fall. Let yourself sob. Feel your body shake with the human emotions you have. And know that through all of this, you are alive.

You are not alone, dearest reader, please know that.

Love,

priceless tree dweller

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