Trigger warning: This post contains an extensive discussion of anxiety.
Today’s post is going to be a short one for a couple of reasons. 1. A book I’ve been waiting months for finally came out this week and that has pretty much consumed me. 2. I had no internet yesterday so I couldn’t access the Google doc I started the original post on. And 3. The past week and a half have been very long.
I don’t know what happened but about two weeks ago my anxiety heighten. Maybe it was something in the wind or the angle of the moon, who knows. I don’t really care either because I can’t change it. Nothing bad happened to trigger it, it just happened.
Lately, I feel like I’m not handling my anxiety as well as I used to. I just can’t seem to get a grip on myself. Thankfully, when I get overly stressed instead of having a panic attack, I cry.
I’ve been crying, a lot. It’s quite embarrassing and I can’t stop. This past weekend I went away for the night with some of my friends and I cried two times before leaving the house and once on the way to their house. I cried after work the other day, I cried because I read a blog post about someone organizing her pantry. Why can’t my pantry look like that?
Along with the crying I have also been really irritable. I know that I am and I’m trying not be but it’s been hard. I keep snapping at people and “biting their heads off” (as my mom would say). It’s not too bad until they start asking me questions or telling me about things I need to do or what I haven’t done. I’m not usually grumpy like this.
Aside from that I just feel off. I feel kind of flat unless I’m stressed lately. I hate it.
As soon as school is out I’m going to try talking to my doctor about it and see what he recommends. There’s only ten days of school left and they couldn’t get me in before then anyway. Until then I’m fine. I’m just reminding myself to breath, calm down and that it’s not the end of the world even if I think it is.
Do you ever have random spikes of anxiety? What do you do when the happen?
Peace Will Win