Your feelings are valid.

Your feelings are valid.

I personally have seen that people often tend to feel like they have to explain why they feel a certain way, especially if it’s a negative feeling like sadness. If they can’t explain why they feel sad, they’re made to feel like they shouldn’t feel that way. Heck, even if you do have a reason, you’re made to feel guilty about it because other people have it worse. And to me, that makes no sense.

A common counter-argument is “that’s like saying I can’t be happy because someone else has it better”, and I have to agree. If people’s feelings were judged relatively to others’, only the person who has the best life and the person who has the worst would be allowed to feel happy or sad, respectively.

Your feelings matter. You are allowed to feel happy or sad or angry or whatever. Suppressing them because you feel like you shouldn’t feel that way, or you’ve been told you shouldn’t feel that way, is unhealthy. It’s hard at first for a reason.

Your feelings do matter. You matter.

Love, Draconic Ally.

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2 thoughts on “Your feelings are valid.

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  1. Hey Draconic Ally, I greatly enjoyed reading your post. I relate to what you’re saying so much, because it is easy for me to fall into the mindset of thinking my feelings are invalid, and sometimes I think that’s partly due to living in a household of logical thinkers instead of emotional thinkers. It’s easy to feel like the black sheep of the family, even though I know they love me very much, and I love them in return.

    Really, that my feelings are invalid is something my mind likes to throw at me a lot, tell me I’m less than the others because I can’t control my emotions as well as they do. But something I like to remind myself is a random sentence my brain came up with when I was scooping cat litter, the same time as when I got the idea for this whole thing: “My brilliance is in my emotiveness.” It might sound a little arrogant, but I couldn’t be where I am today if I wasn’t smart, and I really think that a lot of that is in my emotional capacity, since that’s part of what fuels my love for stories and writing. So, even when my emotions give me a lot of crap and turn me into an absolute mess, I know it’s going to be okay, because being super emotive is just a part of me. 🙂

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  2. Thank you for this reminder. I grew up being told, both directly and indirectly, that there were those who had suffered more so my feelings weren’t that important by comparison. It was only about a year ago that I saw the argument for why comparison with sadness is the same as comparison with happiness. Unfortunately, my brain has still been trained to say, “Well, this thing happened to you, but at least it wasn’t ten times as bad. You should get over it.” So I need to retrain it.

    Like

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