Excuse us while we scream at the sky

Trigger warning: This post contains a moderate discussion of anxious thoughts. They are only in the second half. There will be another warning before they start in case you want to read the first part.

A couple of months ago I got to go to a Twenty One Pilots concert and it was amazing. It was incredibly moving and while I didn’t full on cry I did get teary eyed. Especially during Cancer and Addict with a Pen. I hope I never forget that night.

There is just something so emotionally powerful about thousands of people singing “We’re broken people” at the top of their lungs and not caring that anyone else knew or heard them sing.

There were floral kimonos and Twenty One Pilots t-shirts of all kinds. The crowd was amazing the whole night. The energy and emotions were high and even in the nose bleed section where I was people were jumping and waving their arms in the air to the beat. I almost wish that I had been in the mosh pit some that night.

I am so thankful that I got to go. There were so many times that I came very close to not going. Mostly because of my anxiety. If you get nothing else from the rest of this post I hope that you know you shouldn’t let your anxiety keep you from doing something you want. Anxiety is full of lies. I’m going to share a few examples with you now.

Trigger warning starts below this photo. The rest of this posts has lies that my anxiety tried to feed me about the concert. If hearing about other peoples fears bothers you I advise you to stop reading here.

pexels-photo-29021

 

My anxiety told me I wouldn’t like them by the time the concert came. I bought my tickets six months in advance after a ton of internal debate. I was terrified that I would stop liking them by the time the concert came and that it wouldn’t have been worth the money.

Truth: I still loved them and it was worth every penny. Also, if I hadn’t liked them at that point I could have given them away or sold them.

My anxiety told me that I wouldn’t be able to handle the crowds, it also told me that some terrible thing would happen while I was there. I worried about this a lot, I was terrified that the crowd would be wild and crazy and that I would feel trapped even in my “nose bleed” seat ticket that was as far from the mosh pit as you can get.

Truth: The crowd was pumped but not out of control and even if they had been I doubt I would have cared because I would probably have been joining them. Also, security was great I felt incredibly safe.

My anxiety told me that I wouldn’t enjoy it from my seats.

Truth: I sat in the front row of the top section. My view was fantastic, I could see everything from up there.

My anxiety told me that I shouldn’t sing at the top of my lungs because I can’t sing and people might be recording it and hear me.

Truth: Everyone was singing at the top of their lungs, no one cared. No one was telling anyone to stop singing. I did stop singing long enough for me to record a couple of short clips and when my friend was recording off and on but that didn’t ruin it for me. Bottom line is that even if someone else did record me who cares, they don’t know me and never will know me.

I hope that the next time you go to a concert (or any event for that matter), that you have fun and take time to enjoy it. The biggest thing that I did was try to change my anxiety into excitement. Every time I started to get stressed I would pull up a clip of one of their concerts or think about what t-shirt I was going to wear or what songs I was hoping they would sing. Does that mean that I wasn’t worried about anything the night of? Of course not, in fact I was really worried about my tickets. (I won’t go into details on that because it’s a long story, but basically UPS lost my tickets and then my replacement tickets were e-tickets and my anxiety told me those wouldn’t work out either but they were great and even a row better than my original ones. Take that anxiety.)

Have you been to a Twenty One Pilots concert? If not what concerts have you been to that you hope to be able to go to again? Or if you haven’t gone to one who would you love to see live? What kind of coping mechanism do you use when dealing with “event stress?”

Love,

Peace Will Win

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4 thoughts on “Excuse us while we scream at the sky

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  1. I’ve had similar problems when my brother and I have gone to concerts, especially since it’s almost always a two hour drive there and back. So that is another element that my anxiety likes to play with.

    I did fine and nothing happened. Take that, anxiety.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so glad you were able to go to the concert and enjoy it and win over your anxiety in this round. Unfortunately for me, I lost this round. I was offered a ride to a Twenty One Pilots concert and a chance to go in on buying tickets, and my fear won. While I regret it, I also don’t, because if I’m going to lose to anxiety, I don’t want to compound that by losing to the guilty pit in my stomach that wants to rule my life. But I will remember this post for later, when I am asked to fight my anxiety again in this way. Next time, I plan to win.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please, please don’t look at it as a loss. (Also, I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad in anyway. If I did I’m deeply, deeply, sorry.)
      I try to only count things as wins when it comes to anxiety and the other stuff as ties 😉 Also, I think that there is bravery and strength in knowing your limits and not pushing yourself over them all the time. I’ve made the mistake of pushing myself too far sometimes and oddly enough those are the things I regret more than the things I declined from.

      Like

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