Rubble

Stress clings to my mind like rubble to my skin.  It is caked on with sweat.  My muscles tense beneath it as it sinks its minuscule teeth into my flesh.  Anything I touch, even the air makes me cringe away.  My mind screams.  It’s too much, too much.  The Stress clings to my mind like rubble to my skin.  It is caked on with sweat.  My muscles tense beneath it as it sinks its minuscule teeth into my flesh.  Anything I touch, even the air makes me cringe away.  My mind screams.  It’s too much, too much.  The responsibilities, the schedule, the to-do list.  Everything floods in at once and I don’t know what to do, what comes next.

It’s too much.

I snap.  I run away.  I can’t do anything like this.  I can’t think; I can’t breathe.  I go to my room and hide.  Burrow beneath the covers, hide from my screaming mind.  Close my eyes, block everything out.  Try desperately to silence my mind.  Jam my earbuds in and let the music blare.

Alone.  Finally alone.  Alone and far away from my troubles, from my responsibilities.  Alone where I can breathe again.  Alone where I can rest.   Alone with the only one I want to be with right now.

Slowly, my muscles relax and my mind unwinds.  Music flows around me, soaks into me.  It washes over my mind, gently pulling the specks of rubble from my skin.  I can breathe again without the work ahead of me crushing my lungs and making my brain scatter.

It’s okay now.  It’s okay.  The stress is gone.  The pain is gone.  It doesn’t have to come back.  I can handle this.  I can face this week.  I will hold on.  I will keep going.  I will grow.

I will be okay.

Love,

Beautiful Blackwater.

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6 thoughts on “Rubble

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    1. Thank you, Ossuary. ❤ You're so right, music is so wonderful like that. I love how it can help so much even when I'm super stressed. In the particular instance I was writing in, Twenty One Pilots and Rend Collective were the ones helping me. What music do you like to reach for when you need to unwind?

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